Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
