i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
