Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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