i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
