Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
