Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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