why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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