first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
