sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
