dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize