Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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