you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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