I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
