so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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