I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
