I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
