I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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