So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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