i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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