Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Found the puke drawer
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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