Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My vagina is very pro this idea
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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