i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
