didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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