i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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