wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
