Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
