So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i barfeds in our rink
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize