He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
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lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
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As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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