Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
