He had one of those small greek statue penises
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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