I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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