My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
