well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
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Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
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Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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