Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
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