My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
