you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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