come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
