Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you guys were way drunker than both of me
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
