I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
