lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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