it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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