is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
