You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I have tasted many bathrooms
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
