yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
