you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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