it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If I die, sorry about rent.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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