we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
