honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize