We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
