I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
