So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
