So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
