Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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