Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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