I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize