Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
