So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Randomize
