I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
