Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i don't like sucking hair
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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