I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
