i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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